Cranky
by Obsessive Reader22
Summary: I don't even know what to say. I have been consuming way too much caffeine and not enough adult one on one conversations. Steph is cranky and being the uber-adult that she manages it the way you expect her to. Total fluff. :P


I took a deep breath, squeezing my eyes tightly.

"Fuck." I growled. The sun was shining in between the curtains and landing across my entire face. I didn't want to get out of bed. I was cranky and tired. My Spidey senses were on high alert and I knew that if I got out of bed I would regret it.

**RING RING**

I snarled and lunged at the phone, not even glancing at the caller ID before answering it.

"WHAT?!" My voice was gravely and the irritation had to be obvious.

"Babe?"

"What?" I asked again, this time pulling my pillow up over my face.

"You gonna get out of bed today?" I could hear the smile in his voice. It irritated me, riling up the already cranky attitude I have.

"No." Now my voice was muffled by the pillow smashed over my face.

"Ten minutes, Babe. Then I am going to drag you out."

"FINE!" I snarled, throwing my pillow across the room and hanging up at Ranger. "Shit." I whispered. No one hung up on Ranger. "Fuck it." I threw my phone on the side of my bed and got to my feet. I could hear it ringing, and knew that more than likely it was him telling me that I shouldn't hang up on him. I turned and gave the phone the two handed one finger salute before turning and locking myself in my bathroom.

I showered quickly and dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. My phone rang again as I was slipping on my CAT boots and slipping my bag over my shoulder.

"Get the hint." I whispered to my phone before stowing it in my pocket. Just as I was about to head out the door I stopped and headed back to the kitchen. "Just in case." I pulled out my gun from the cookie jar and loaded it before slipping it into my bag.

Peeking out the peep hole I realized that no big scary angry Ranger was on the other side, so I slipped out locked up and headed towards the stairs. I wasn't going to risk him standing in front of the elevator. Thankfully the doors to the stairwell were off the main lobby, so even if he was there I could easy evade him. As I reached the door to the lobby, I felt the familiar tingle at the back of my neck.

"Shit." I whispered, pulling open the door slightly and looking around. I didn't see him, but that didn't mean much. I palmed my keys, for a quick escape and bolted from the door.

"Babe?" I heard as I slammed out the door and skid to my POS jeep parked at the back end of the parking lot.

"I need doughnuts." I ground out, whipping around the corner and speeding towards the Tasty Pastry. I flipped open my phone and quickly dialed the number.

"Tasty Pastry, this is Yvonne."

"Yvonne? Stephanie Plum."

"Stephanie! How's it going?" The woman's voice was way to cheerful for me.

"I need a dozen Boston Cremes, but I don't have the time to wait in line." I looked behind me and saw a black Turbo slide in behind me. "Shit." I whispered.

"Not a problem, Steph. I can get it ready for you." I heard her slip the phone between her chin and shoulder and open the glass display case. "You want me to put it on your tab?"

"Yes please." I pressed 'speaker' on my phone and slid it into the cup holder as I weaved through traffic trying to lose my tail. "Is there any way you could bring them to the curb when I pull up?"

"Sure." She laughed. I could hear the familiar sound of cardboard folding. "I am about to go on my break. When will you be here?"

"Ummm…" I glanced back again as I righted my car after whipping around a corner. He was still behind me. "Five minutes?"

"Sure, hon." She laughed. "Why don't you meet me in the alley behind the shop."

"Thanks, Yvonne. I appreciate it."

"Anytime." She chuckled again and ended the call.

The phone range before I even had a chance to clear the screen. 'Batman' was displayed across the screen with a picture of Ranger winking.

"Shit." I growled and pressed 'talk'. "What?!"

"Babe." His voice was teasing.

"Leave me alone!" I spat, taking another set of turns to lose him.

"You know you won't lose me, right?" He laughed.

"I can try." I pressed end and zipped through a red light, barely missing a F-150 as it barreled through the intersection. I glanced back and saw Ranger scowl as he was trapped behind the now stopped truck in the middle of the intersection. "Take that Batman!" I cheered as I motored my way towards Tasty Pastry.

I pulled up in the alley behind the bakery and saw Yvonne standing there holding a box of doughnuts, smoking a cigarette. I smiled as I rolled down the window.

"Thanks. I owe you one." I took the doughnuts and she waved me off.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She strolled back towards the door, putting out the stub of her cigarette in a sand filled ashcan.

I sighed, flipping open the box on the passenger seat and taking a deep breath. Without putting the car in park I pulled a doughnut to my face and bit into it. Crème squirted out and onto my shirt, but I didn't care. The sugar hit my system and immediately I felt better.

"OH yeah." I moaned, taking another bite.

Squealing tires from both sides of the alley startled me and I dropped my doughnut.

"Shit." I was boxed in. One large black Rangeman SUV in front and Ranger in his Porsche in front of me. Groaning I slammed the car into park and dashed out the door, not even bothering to close the door or grab anything.

"WAIT!" Ranger yelled as I dashed into the back door of the bakery and into the store.

"Excuse me, pardon me." I whispered as I pushed my way through the mess of customers waiting for their own sugary morning fix. I could hear Ranger's feet behind me and knew that he could outrun me. Leaning forward I pressed through the door, slamming it into Lester who fell on his ass, as I ran out the door and down the street.

"Jesus!" Les yelled, grabbing his head.

I didn't dare look back, but pressed forward. I'm not sure exactly why I was so intent on Ranger not catching me, but at this point I was too far into this charade to stop.

"Stephanie!" I heard Ranger growl as his footsteps came closer. "Jesus, stop!"

"NO!" I screamed. My legs were beginning to burn and my chest was tight, but I wasn't going to just let him catch me. Seeing the park, I quickly changed course and headed towards it. The gravel pathway was riddled with potholes and loose sand, but I knew it like the back of my hand. My sister and I used to play here a lot as kids.

"Fuck." I heard Lester swear before a sickening crunch and groan. He must have hit one of the potholes and crashed.

"Keep going." I whispered to myself, eyeing my target. There was a large floating dock in the center of the manmade lake about a hundred yards ahead of me. If I could make it to the edge, I know I could jump and reach it. I also knew that with the momentum that I had built up it would push the dock just far enough out that Ranger couldn't just jump to me.

He was getting closer. So close, in fact, that I could hear him mumbling something in Spanish. Taking a deep breath I used what little energy I had to left to push myself a little faster. Just as I was about to leap towards the dock I heard Ranger cry out.

"Holy shit! Stop!"

I didn't. I felt like I was flying as I leapt from the edge of the water, momentarily closing my eyes before my body slammed into the old wooden dock and pushing it a good twenty feet further into the water. Gasping for breath I looked back to see Ranger standing at the edge of the water, shaking his head and smirking.

"HA!" I yelped, standing on the dock and jumping in celebration. I looked over at Ranger and did what any adult woman would do in my situation. I stuck out my tongue and put my thumbs in my ears. Yeah, that will show him.

"Oh shit."

Ranger's smirk turned into a mischievous grin as he began stripping off his utility belt, weapons, cell phone and emptying his pockets. Tank, who was hands on his knees, gasping for air next to Ranger just shook his head.

"GO AWAY!" I shouted, cupping my hands to my mouth.

When Ranger untied his boots and stripped himself of his socks and t-shirt I was officially freaked out. He was going to swim out to get me. Shit.

"Don't you dare!" I yelled, my confidence dwindling as he stepped into the water. Obviously it had the opposite effect. He smiled and pointed behind me. I looked and there on the edge of the water on the other side was Lester; removing his gear as well. Cal was standing next to him, shaking his head and laughing. "Shit."

Frantically, I began searching for something to paddle with. I knew that it would be of no use, but I had to do something. Not finding anything, I slipped off my shoes and began kicking off the side of the dock. It really didn't have the desired effect, as I just found myself spinning in circles.

I watched as Ranger dove into the water and began swimming gracefully towards me. Glancing back at Lester, he was doing the same. Sighing, I collapsed into a sitting position and waited. It took them all of five minutes before they were on either side of the dock, smiling up at me.

"Hi, Beautiful." Lester grinned wiping water off his face with a swipe of his hand. "Whatcha doing?"

"Go away." I whimpered, watching Ranger pull himself up onto the dock.

"Babe." He smiled, running his fingers through his hair and pushing the wet locks away from his face. "While that was fun, is there any reason why you wanted us to take a swim?"

I lifted my knees up and pressed my eyes into them, wrapping my arms around them. I felt a cold, wet hand lift my face up and I was looking into Ranger's very amused eyes.

"I'm cranky." I stated matter of flatly.

"I can tell." Lester pulled himself up onto the dock and laid out in the sun. Thankfully it was mid-july, otherwise he would be a Lester-cicle. "You know, you should run more often. This was fun."

I growled and gave him my best death glare, causing him to laugh and flick water at my face.

"I just wanted to eat my doughnuts and be alone." I pouted, pressing my arms across my chest.

"I don't think you want to be left alone out here." Ranger pointed towards the water. "Pretty impressive jump, by the way."

I shrugged.

"Shit, I thought you were gonna eat it when I saw you leap off the embankment, Beautiful." Lester tugged at the hem of my t-shirt. "I never knew you could run that fast."

"Sorry about your face." I giggled, looking at the red line running down the side of Lester's face from the door.

"It's okay." He tickled my ribs. "It was worth it."

"Why didn't Tank swim out?" I asked, tipping my head towards Tank who was now pacing back and forth in front of Ranger's discarded items.

"He is afraid of fish." Ranger laughed, pointing down into the water. There, right below the surface, was a school of small fish.

"Fish." I restated, looking from the fish to the giant man on the edge of the water. "Seriously?"

"Yep." Ranger popped the 'p' and we all laughed.

"I'm sorry." I played with my shoelace. "I just didn't want to have the conversation that I knew we were going to have."

"What conversation?" Les picked up his head and looked between me and Ranger.

"It's complicated." I whined.

"Running away never got rid of something complicated, Babe." Ranger ran his damp fingers through my hair and smiled. "Even though it's fun, we will still end up having it."

"I know." I ground out, taking a deep breath. "How are we going to get back?"

"Leave that to us." Lester rose to his feet, and placed a kiss on the top of my head. "Your chariot, m'Lady."

He and Ranger dove back into the water, surfacing on the same side of the dock. Smiling I watched as they grabbed hold of the edge and began kicking; pushing it towards the edge of the water. After a while, we were close enough for me to jump off. Sliding my shoes back on, I took a few steps back and leapt off the dock and onto the grass. I teetered slightly before Tank's massive hands grabbed my shirt and hauled me back and onto my feet. Cal ran up next to us dropping Lester's stuff on top of Rangers, and shoved them into an empty duffel bag.

"Thanks, Big Guy." Reaching up on my tip toes I kissed his cheek. "Sorry about running away and stuff."

"It's okay, Little One." He ruffled my hair.

Ranger and Lester hauled themselves out of the water and stood hands on hips next to me.

"Now about this conversation." Les said, shaking his head so that water rained down on me.

"Yeah yeah fine." We trudged back to the vehicles, hearing cell phone cameras clicking and phones ringing as we walked. "My mother is going to kill me." I groaned.

"Just tell her you were cranky." Ranger winked and I scowled.

Getting to the vehicles I slid inside mine, shoving another doughnut in my mouth as Ranger and Lester changed into dry clothes. Cal was standing next to me, eyeing my doughnuts.

"Want one?" I asked. His eyes flickered to Ranger before nodding. I held out the box and watched as he crouched down next to me and devoured the entire doughnut in one bite; moaning.

"You are amazing, Angel." Cal swallowed the doughnut and kissed my cheek. "I didn't think you could do it, but you did."

"It's easy." I laughed, handing him another doughnut and taking one for myself. He chuckled and finished off the second doughnut in two bites before tapping my nose with his finger and standing.

"What was it that you were running from exactly?" Cal leaned over the top of my open door and watched as I ate my doughnut. "You were hauling ass something fierce."

"Ranger wanted to talk." I sighed.

"About?" He asked, looking back to make sure that Ranger and the guys were still occupied.

"It's embarrassing, Cal." I whined, pressing my clean hand over my eyes.

"More embarrassing then a grown ass women, hauling ass away from four grown men before leaping onto a dock free floating in a man-made pond…just to NOT talk about something?" He laughed and grabbed another doughnut.

"He wants to take me to my doctor's appointment." I mumbled.

"So?"

"It's my annual exam." I once again mumbled out the side of my mouth.

"So?"

"Oh my God, Cal." I waved my arms. "He wants to be IN the room as the Doctor does you know what to you know where."

"It's nothing he hasn't seen before, Angel." Cal was laughing now. "I don't see what kind of conversation that you two would have in that situation."

"Well, it's not the conversation during that I am worrying about, it's the one after." I groaned, seeing Ranger make his way back towards me. Cal just looked at me.

"It's the piercing." I quickly whispered before plastering on a big smile. Hoping Cal caught the hint that I didn't want to talk about it in front of Ranger. "Hi Ranger."

"Wait…what piercing?" Cal shrieked.

"Fuck." I tipped my head and dropped it against the steering wheel which set off the horn, which startled the crap out of me.

"Piercing?" Ranger looked between Cal and I.

"Shit." I gave Cal a dirty look. He was staring at me as if I had grown two heads before a smile slid across his face.

"No way." He chuckled. "You did it?"

"Did what?" Ranger asked, once again looking at Cal and then me.

"Shut up, Cal." I sang.

"I thought you said you weren't going to. You said it would hurt like a bitch and were all worried that it would break your…"

"CAL!" I smacked his arm.

"Babe?"

"Ranger." Dropping my voice down to match his baritone.

"You got an Albertina!" Cal shouted as he ran back towards the SUV.

"UNGH!"

"Babe." I looked up and Ranger's eyes were black. "Did you?"

"Shit." I grabbed my purse and keys and got out the car. "Let's go. You can ask me all about it on the way to my appointment."

Ranger chuckled and followed me back towards his Porsche, taking my keys and tossing them back to Lester. He opened the door for me and I slid in, buckling myself.

"Babe."

"Yea yeah." I waved my hand in his direction. "I know...playing with fire."

"Shit, Babe." He leaned down and kissed me. It was so hot that I swear my toes curled and shriveled a size. "That's not fire you are playing with. That's something much hotter."

"Oh boy." I whispered as he closed the door and walked around to get in.

SO I KNOW THIS IS A FLUFFY SHORT, WHICH I SEEM TO BE WRITING A LOT OF LATELY. IT PROBABLY DOESN'T MAKE MUCH SENSE, BUT IT'S OKAY BECAUSE THAT IS HOW I ROLL. HOPE YOU AT LEAST GOT A GIGGLE OUT OF IT. AS ALWAYS, THANKS FOR READING. DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE A REVIEW, AND TIP YOUR WAITRESS. ;)


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